A Common Misconception

Copyright © 2004 by Karyn Garvin

It's in our nature to nurture. For many of us, the act of nurturing our pets brings us as much joy as the love we hope to receive in return. We find it very rewarding to pamper them and see to their every need. When they're happy, we're happy!

It's easy to nurture a well-adapted pet. We have only to provide for their basic needs, teach them the things we need them to know and life is rosy. A common misconception is what is the best way to nurture a frightened pet. From my perspective there are far too many cats, dogs and pet owners that live in fear of things they don't need to be afraid of.

I often hear, "We didn't want to do anything that might make it worse." Believing this, the owner is afraid to do anything that might scare their pet. With this belief system we nurture fear in our pets.

One common example would be, "My cat, (or dog) doesn't like to be held".
Very likely, when it was first held, it found it frightening and scurried to get away which is commonly known as the fight or flight instinct. Some well meaning human being rewarded the behavior believing that it just didn't like to be held when in fact it was afraid of being held. People usually tell themselves to quit trying because either the pet doesn't like it or once again, their afraid of making things worse.

A parent wouldn't allow a shy child to hide, isolate itself and quit trying to encourage appropriate behavior. Why would a pet owner? Whatever behavior you're pet is having repetition of, is exactly what it will get conditioned to. Animals are lacking many of the creative skills and knowledge that we have as human beings. They don't know what to do differently and will not change without your support and redirection.

What makes an already fearful pet worse is allowing their fear related behaviors to continue. People hope that their pet will change its way of thinking and then the behavior will change. It's just the reverse! You need to change the behavior first so that their way of thinking will change. The goal is to have a happy, well-adjusted pet. Those are the kinds of behaviors you want to make happen and reward.

Nurturing these pets will take courage and commitment on your part. The answer lies in embracing the fear as opposed to avoiding it. Nowadays we hear so much about strictly positive reinforcement training that this clouds the issue even more. I can assure you that while the process may not always seem all that positive, the outcome will be.

What behaviors are you nurturing? Wayne Dwyer, a well-known author and speaker once said, "When we change the way we look at things, the things we look at change".
I hope I have given you, or someone you know, a new outlook.